Me, the author of many posts about violence against women is sitting here with a broken collarbone unable to move without pain, a victim of violence. The target of some ones rage, someone’s inability to comprehend “keep your hands to yourself”
Sitting in the ER Monday night after the physical was numbed my thoughts turned to the emotional and it hit me like a ton of bricks I believed I fully comprehended how it feels to be the victim of violence without ever having been a victim of violence.
Life as they say has a funny way of changing your perspective especially when it’s you walking the walk.
While it was not a spouse who assaulted me it is someone I love deeply. Sitting here with the realization that not only the physical of my life is shattered, my first mass as a Eucharistic minister, my job, being in pain and immobile for 6-8 weeks but it is the sense of knowing that I will heal physically but I will never heal emotionally that is so overwhelming to me.
She did this and when I texted her and said “you broke my collarbone, thank you, she texted back “you’re welcome” and I look at those words and can’t believe they were written by the person I believed was compassionate, kind, loving, caring and incapable not only of the violence, BUT the words that have forever changed our relationship and my belief in Her.
I am reminded of a saying I’ve spoken a thousand times–“When someone shows you who they, are Believe them” Maya Angelou
Unaware that one day I’d be the one sitting here so devastated by having to believe what she has shown me. I now know that the most difficult part of the violence is not the physical that I once believed it was but the unrelenting emotional pain that my beloved friend, the one I placed my highest hopes and dreams upon, did this to me.
So, I hear you now when you speak from the broken heart.
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