By: Barbara


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE enough money within her control to move out  and rent a place of her own,  even if she never wants to or needs to…  something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour. 

 A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE a youth she’s content to leave behind…a past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to retelling it in her old age… a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra… one friend who always makes her laugh… and one who lets her cry.

 A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family… eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal, that will make her guests feel honored.

 A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE a feeling of control over her destiny… how to fall in love without losing herself.

 EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW how to quit a job, break up with a lover and confront a friend without; ruining the friendship.


 EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW that she can’t change the length of her calves,  the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents… that her childhood may not have been perfect…but it’s over.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW what she would and wouldn’t do for love or more… how to live alone… even if she doesn’t like it…  

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW whom she can trust, whom she can’t and why she shouldn’t take it personally.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW  where to go…  be it to her best friend’s kitchen table…  or a charming Inn in the woods…  when her soul needs soothing.

 EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW what she can and can’t accomplish in a day…  a month… and a year.

Enjoy your day… woman

Every Woman should have a friend like Barbara who finds just the right poem at just the right time and sends it just when you need it most!

6 Responses

  1. Maya Angelou is one of the most celebrated woman of our time and her soul searching poems of her love, encouragement and her inspirational support for women is always so touching.

    It’s a beautiful tribute Betty Jean.

    Thank you for sharing!

  2. On a related subject, this folgers commerical has ruffled many feathers. I wrote an article about it and you can find the commercial there as well.


    • The related aspect is I touch on the idea that there is nothing wrong with living at home and saving up money so that one can be as independent as Maya says they should be.

  3. I refuse to die or even shut up until I have achieved all my shoulds and let’s not forget A Room of One’s Own.

    Women of a certain age have little to lose by going all out. I often think that we spend a lot of our lives sacrificing for our families (nothing wrong there) and in the process lose our own voices. Maybe it is this tempering though that gives us insight to what truly matters. Now is the time for women to unite for our rights; now is the time for equal pay and representation. Conservative women need to remember that there was a pre-Shaffley time when it was ‘church ladies’ that first saw the sin of inequality and fought for civil rights. We are women scorned; hear us roar.

  4. I am with you Ms. Behaved- A woman should stand up ffor what she believes and certainly should be counted for a whole person! Funny you should mention Shafeley- she had it all law degree and plenty of help – had she been poor, beaten and pushed around – she would be singing a different tune! It’s all a matter of perspective isn’t it? Everything looks great from atop one’s ivorty tower but not so pretty from the alleyway in the ghetto!
    Wake up Phyllis baby and smell the reality of every woman and what she needs to be whole!

  5. (((((((((((((((((((((((BETTY JEAN))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

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