What is a female? Not what you think she is!

Another Rant by: BettyJean Kling

What is a female? A Female is depicted by others everyday all day long all over the world. Does anyone anywhere even know who or what a female is anymore? Does a female even know who she is? Ask her – she will tell you who she is to someone else no doubt! Lately it has become vogue to brag about being a mother. ‘As a mom’, ‘proud to be a mom’, ‘A million moms’.

I am one of those and I belong to every one of those online groups and darn happy to be a mom a grandmom and a great grandmom and proud to belong to any and all of the mom groups as well.

I am also a US citizen and proud to be one – and a wife and proud to be one a daughter and proud to be one but I am ultimately a female and when I take away all the other labels –I remain far and away a female.  I need to know that as one of 52% of civization – and of all of the the population I am something unique unto myself as well as a part of something and someone else ! How many of us unique females have no children, husband, siblings or parents alive. What does that make us– nothings?

I dare say we had damned well better wake up and recognize that we are so much more than someone else’s something, subordinate only to them. As proud as we are to be part of a family, a marriage , and as parents we have forgotten we are in the end individuals.

If you are a God fearing individual- God made you in his image – you are responsible to him for what you do about you too. As females we are the majority on this earth and as such we have a responsibility to be lights and good stewards and responsible to teach our daughters and our sons by example. That example is not to turn away from what is wrong but to turn against it. The time is now! There is a war on woman all across this world and it is up to every woman to stand up and say NO! Sadly we spend less time on the community of women and to helping each other which would strenghten our causes. Indeed it takes a village and yet we fight against other never realizing we are our best warriors. think again!

It is up to women to teach our sons and daughters that females are to be highly respected and accepted just as we are! We are not second class citizens- not here – not anywhere around the world – let’s stand up and start acting like it! we are woman first – no black- not hispanic – not someone’s wife or daughter first – to our own selves we need to be true!

Ask yourself what is a female-?

Look at your daughters – ask what is a female? When you look at your little girl – do you airbrush her perfect? Doesn’t she deserve to be a first class human being or are you raising her to be someone’s something? When you see a report of a wife missing or found dead at the hand of her husband – do you realize that could be your daughter you gave to a husband in marriage? Do you think those parents ever dreamed this horror? In many religions man are raised to treat their women this way and it is coming here. We are faced with two extremes – Sexualization or Religion both make render her less than ! Neither is acceptable and you have no right to decide for your daughters!

Reported in the US http://www.feminist.com/antiviolence/facts.html

4-5 women a day are murdered by their husbands in the US
1 in 4 women a day are beaten – only half are reported so 1-2 are feared to be harmed
1 in 4 college women experience completed or attempted rape during their college years


100,000’s a day have a Tiger Woods for a husband
Over 50% of men accessing the internet are using internet pornography on purpose
Internet Porn is the fasting growing cause of divorce in the United States

Pornographic websites 4.2 million (12% of total websites)
Pornographic pages 420 million
Daily pornographic search engine requests 68 million (25% of total search engine requests)
Daily pornographic emails 2.5 billion (8% of total emails)
Internet users who view porn 42.7%
Received unwanted exposure to sexual material 34%
Average daily pornographic emails/user 4.5 per Internet user
Monthly Pornographic downloads (Peer-to-peer) 1.5 billion (35% of all downloads)
Daily Gnutella “child pornography” requests 116,000
Websites offering illegal child pornography 100,000
Sexual solicitations of youth made in chat rooms 89%
Youths who received sexual solicitation 1 in 7 (down from 2003 stat of 1 in 3)
Worldwide visitors to pornographic web sites 72 million visitors to pornography: Monthly
Internet Pornography Sales $4.9 billion

WHY? Because we women have not stood up and said NO! We have hidden our eyes from the truth! Women in our society are disrespected and we can stop it now!

1.) Jessica Alba

Have you wondered how some celebrities manage to keep their seemingly perfect figures after pregnancy? Is it the personal trainers and private chefs that do the trick? Not entirely or perhaps not at all.  It’s the airbrusher! The real Jessica Alba , months after giving birth, is seen airbrushed, note the trimmed waistline and hips.


2.) Beyonce

I wonder why Vanity Fair digitally altered Beyonce’s image to appear several shades lighter on their cover.

3.) Kate Winslet

Although denies any retouching was done for her 2008 Vanity Fair photo shoot, a professional airbrusher interviewed by the Daily Mail disagrees:  “There is no real detail in her face. Any detail or wrinkles have been removed. There are no eye bags, contours and smile lines. Her bottom has been rounded off so it looks nice and pert. I would be very surprised if her bottom was like that naturally.”

4.) Britney Spears

These side-by-side photos were taken within days of one another.

5.) Julia Roberts

The Redbook editors plucked Roberts head from a paparazzi shot taken at the 2002 People’s Choice Awards while her body was borrowed from the Notting Hill movie premiere four years ago. The clipped-together photo is accompanied by a headline that blares, without a trace of irony, “The Real Julia.” 

6.) Jennifer Aniston

Wish you could have washboard abs like Jennifer Aniston after the age of 40? America’s favorite Friend does as well. When asked by host Barabara Walters what happened to the modest girl next door we used to love, Jen laughed, “She’s there! Photoshopped!”

7.) Sarah Palin

The body belongs to a 22 year-old woman known only as Elizabeth. An unemployed web site designer from New York City found the four year old pic on Flickr and pasted Gov. Palin’s head on it as a spoof for her Facebook page. And the rest has become as much a part of political yore as Swift Boat and Dukakis in a tank.


8.) Kelly Clarkson

Apparently Kelly Clarkson grew tired of Howard Stern making cracks about her ass and did something about it, or shall I say had her airbrusher do something about it.

The airbrushing later became so pronounced on her new album cover that Clarkson barely recognized herself. On a blog entry she wrote: “Its very colorful and they have definitely Photoshopped the crap out of me . . . Whoever she is, she looks great, ha!”

9.) The Women of the Israeli Cabinet

In a move straight out of Pravda, the Israeli ultra-Orthodox newspaper Yated Neeman airbrushed two female cabinet members out of a picture of the Israeli Cabinet and replaced them with two men not even in the cabinet.  The newspaper claims picturing women violates their laws of modesty but here in the States it simply violates our laws of common decency.


10.) The Dove Soap Women

Remember the Dove Soap campaign featuring “real”, full-figured women instead of the airbrushed, fake supermodels we’ve grown so accustomed to? Even when Madison Avenue ad executives try to keep it real, their itchy airbrush fingers get the best of them.

According to retoucher Pascal Dangin, these ladies were just as fake as the supermodels we so love to poke fun at. “Do you know how much retouching was on that?” he asked. “But it was great to do, a challenge, to keep everyone’s skin and faces showing the mileage but not looking unattractive.”


Gentlemen, next time your lady tells you the Hollywood ideal of beauty is impossible to live up to, believe her. And Ladies next time you think only a trollop posses for these things – think of the Israeli Cabinet members who disapeared.

Please do not write me comments about the women who pose for these- it is easy to blame women and leave the men blameless or to blame men but the truth is this: Sex sells because we have been selling women forever. For all of history we have been selling women- there are more of us then there are of them – let’s just stand up and stop it now when and where we can! ? Start with the advertisers. ‘Boycott them one at a time money talks! What is a Female – do you know? How will you explain it to your 3 year old? Do you want to tell her she must grow up to be a mother even if her body will never make her one? Do you want to teach her to submit to a man who may beat her to death? Do you want to teach your 3 year old boy to believe what his lying eyes tell him to believe ? She is not what he thinks she is – she is not what you think she is either!

She is a total work of art- she is every bit as valuable as the son you may have bore — act like it- fight for her right to be treated as the whole – human being she is! Do it Now!


11 Responses

  1. BJ: I.ve been thinking about this a lot since I listened to You and Lisa Thompson talk on your blogtalk radio show. What a great show. If any of your reader missed it, I hope they go to the archives and look it up.

    What was most striking to me was her connecting the increase of pornography consumption with the demand for human trafficing.

    I was aware that pronography has increasingly been more about violence and humilitation and like rape has more in common with the lust for power than the lust we usually associate with sex.

    The discussion we have about the dress some might find inappropriate takes on a new danger if you view it as one more distraction (like abortion) that inhibits the ability of women to work together. The article you posted earlier about the high number of women who wear head to toe covering and are still assaulted and harassed makes you wonder if this isn’t just one more way for men to not take responisibility for there own behavior and emotions.

    I was in a laundry mat a few years ago and an young man came in with what is called a muscle shirt on. I must admit I spent more time looking at his exquisit biceps than folding my towels. I immediately went to the local officials and demanded that this young man pay a fine and be forced to wear a jacket so that I would no longer be distracted….I’ve been in the nuthouse ever since.
    Seriously, I was recently at a meeting with my co-workers (we worked with sex offenders). Several of the young women who worked there were known to “show cleavage”. Now, common sense might tell most of us that this isn’t a good idea. As one person said if sex isn’t in the room, we shouldn’t be the ones bringing it in. Another woman pointed out that she had clients that were ankle men and should we require that all women wear long trousers or wooly socks?

    I guess underneath all this is a desire to look attractive. Airbrushing of celebrities makes it near impossible but we keep working at it. Just think of all the money spent on that task over most of our lives. Think of the health risks we take when we continue to smoke so we don’t gain weight and go to tanning booths.

    • It isn’t just about what we are doing or wearing or saying == it’s about what everyone including us thinks about us! BRAINWASHED TO BELIEVE WE EITHER MADONNA OR THE WHORE!

      It’s about how long woman have been second class citizens the world over either sex objects or religious objects. But always something less than. Beings who stand alone as respectable and whole complete and good!

      Bettyjean Kling

      • I was exploring the Islamic role for women and on one site it was explained that men were the bosses because they are “more perfect”. We all know the bible story about the man who sent his daughters out to be assaulted by the mob in order to protect the male messengers of the Lord..If you do not travel far on your spiritual journey you will have to be reincarnated as a woman….. Maybe we are descended from Lilith.

  2. Hi,

    Nice sharing.

    Men cannot lives without women. We cannot discriminate women. Men not a boss.

    • Here’s what Woody Guthrie had to say ( maybe more recognized as a recent Wilco/Billie Bragg song).

      She Came Along to Me

      Ten hundred books could I write you about her
      Cause I felt if I could know her
      I would know all women

      And they’ve not been any too well known
      For brains and planning and organized thinking
      But I’m sure the women are equal
      And they may be ahead of the men

      Yet I wouldn’t spread such a rumor around
      Cause one organizes the other
      And sometimes the most lost and wasted
      Attract the most balanced and sane

      And the wild and the reckless take up
      With the clocked and the timed
      And the mixture is all of us
      And we’re still mixing

      But never never never
      Never could have it been done
      If the women hadn’t entered into the deal
      Like she came along to me
      And all creeds and kinds and colors
      Of us are blending
      Till I suppose ten million years from now
      We’ll all be just alike

      Same color, same size, working together
      And maybe we’ll have all of the fascists
      Out of the way by then
      Maybe so

      But never never never
      Never could have it been done
      If the women hadn’t entered into the deal
      Like she came along to me.

  3. “Never could have it been done
    If the women hadn’t entered into the deal”

    Great post, BJ! This sums it up, eh?

    Hope your holidays are happy ones,

  4. Here is a link to an NPR program where in the beginning section the hostess of 51% interview a women who pioneered the connection between advertising and women’s body image.


  5. Waaah!!! Suck it up bitch. This is life. You act like men don’t face the same types of issues. fuck u bitch. Get a life. You think we are not judged on how we look or that there isn’t pressure for us to be tall muscular men. Fuck u.

  6. angrymale,

    I am playing the worlds smallest violin for you.

    I will feel sorry for you when you get paid 20% less than I do. I will feel badly for you when women start honor killing men because they shamed her family. I will feel empathy for you when all the TV shows only have men running around in shorts, tight tops and acting like a sex toy, instead of showing men being resourceful, clever, overweight, balding and normal.

    You don’t face the same types of issues, you don’t have a point of reference, you still can get hired for the jobs you are qualified for after the age of 40, when you no longer look like a sex kitten and have a pot belly.

    You may have just recently come under the “tall muscular Man” stereotype, but we have been fighting the “Sex slave” stereotype for centuries.

    Go post on a site that will feel sorry for you, or get a clue about what types of discrimination your Mother, Grandmother, Aunts, Sisters, and Daughters are going thru.

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