It’s all about Louisa- Frank

Not Quite Another Rant by: BettyJean Kling

frank1Frank finally answered one of my calls today. We spoke just long enough for him to say he felt he wasn’t given enough recognition in my blogs for being her husband and that it was his insurance that paid her hospital bills.

My first draft of this rant was to give Frank all the recognition he deserves. I was going to introduce you to Frank, the good the bad and the ugly. And believe me that’s how the progression went.

But after writing a typical rant (and believe me it was the mother-in-law of all rants) I decided to step back and take a larger view of the situation. Frank reads my blogs and can only see that he is left out, I tell him it’s not about him or me –it’s about Louisa. And it’s about the sexism and misogyny in this society that puts so many women in the same situation that Louisa is in now.

So in recognition of the Great and Wonderous Events we expect to happen after the coronation this Tuesday I will depart from my usual rant and in the spirit of hope and change I will give Frank his recognition for being Louisa’s husband for the past four years. And, I will acknowledge the fact that he says he loves her.

Now, Frank, what can I expect from you in return. Will you put aside the petty bickering and work with me for Louisa’s best interests. Will you work with me in setting up a visitation schedule that gives Louisa the best hope for improvement and care. Will you work with me to insure that Louisa is surrounded by her family and loved ones for however long and in whatever state we have her.

Frank, now that we all know that you exist, I hope you will step up to the task. I sit by the phone and hope our next conversation will be more productive.

It’s your call Frank.


14 Responses

  1. Betty Jean: I’d like to tell Frank that IMHO, knowing how blogging works, it has always been about Louisa and Denise. Trust me, Frank. We love Betty Jean. She’s been pure passion to us. But it has always been passion for her children and making their lives better. It is beyond Betty Jean. Some people let themselves be consumed because it is necessary. That is Betty Jean. She is a vessel for something bigger than herself.

  2. Hi there,

    OK I’m confused Frank wants attention? an ego stroke? praise? glory? for what?

    Betty Jean your heart and ability to forgive goes so far beyomnd mine that it’s left me speechless.

    Frank this is not about you, it’s about Louisa and ensuring there are no barriers to her having her Mom with her, she needs that love and nurturing to heal.

    You, Frank should be in prison, where you become Bubba’s lovebuddy, where you get all the attention you seek. The fact that you want attention from this totally appalls me!

  3. BJ,
    I hope that your family can pull together, put individual differences aside, and give you, Louisa and Denise the support and love you need and deserve during this horrific time.
    Please realize their are so many of us out here sending prayers and positive thoughts your way daily.

  4. Trish, I’m not sure it’s wise to antagonize Frank unless you are ready to replace his role.

    Frank, Betty Jean is writing about what upsets her. The fact that you were not mentioned prior means you were not on her upset list, and that’s a good thing.

    What probably is driving Betty Jean above and beyond all is her desire to not let an idiot like George Hartwig take away her daughters from this planet prematurely, and that is a very worthwhile goal.

    Frank, If you can align yourself to that same goal than you probably do get mentioned, and rightly so.

  5. Everyone in a situation such as this just wants to be heard, held or know that they are a part of what is left of a person’s life…

    I can imagine that Frank only wants the same thing… recognition that he loves and loved the person who is so painfully slipping the surly bonds of earth to touch the face of God.

    Frank, I know you are hurting, and when people are hurting, it is hard not to see things in black or white… But, at this time things are not black and white, Betty Jean and her supporters here are not your enemy…

    We would love more than anything to turn back the hands of time so that your beautiful wife and Betty Jeans treasured daughter is not lying in a hospital bed due to the actions of a monster…

    But, we can’t, and the only thing we can do now is grieve and then find a way to move on… one way to move on is to honor the one you love… the best way to honor Louisa is to help Betty Jean get Louisa’s Law passed…

    I pray for our Creator to comfort and hold all of you in a they very gentle embrace of love and grace…

  6. Frank , your pain is acknowledged.

    Don’t ask more of a grieving mother than she can give; there is more than enough sadness to go around. Betty Jean has given us all a new awareness through sharing the journey she walks, and we are grateful for that.

    My prayers remain with you all.

  7. Frank,

    For those of us who love BJ it is all about her and her daughters.
    It is about our fight to bring awareness to the crisis of violence against women.
    It is about the need to change laws, enforce existing laws.

    That is what we are focused on, no small job for those of us who are determined that no other mother no other woman suffers the pain of that which has touched our friend BJs family Sometimes our own families get lost in the overwhelming job we have tackeled.But we know they are there hopefully understanding,supporting and rooting us on.

    We know you are there Frank and you are remembered in our prayers. Please respect BJs need to have it all about Louisa.. Please be the force she needs you to be. She has told you what she needs from you.
    It is your call.

  8. For Frank, provider and husband, as you must certainly be in shock, grief and fear of losing your beloved wife, take comfort in the prayers and unified spirit of all her readers who wish we could do more for BJ and her family – which includes you. The process of sorting out the principals has wound its way to reveal you, but we all understand that the community of those who love and suffer for Louisa includes many more. I hope our interlocking circles of prayers sustain you in your effort to reclaim your wife.

  9. Trish
    I do not think Frank is the one who shot Louisa. BJ straighten this out. Am I wrong? I thought it was Denise’s husband who did the shooting. Am I wrong? Why is there trouble between BJ and Frank? Maybe BJ’s father can bring everyone together to work for the good of the family. Everyone is probably in shock there. So hard to hold together when the heart is broken.

  10. Louisa Rodas was shot by George Hardwig.husband of Denise.
    Frank is the husband of Louisa.

  11. Your right, I mixed the names up, I’ll email Betty Jean to ask her to remove the last part of my post. Thanks for correcting me.

  12. There are always two sides to every story, whether one is right or wrong should not be concluded upon reading just the opinion of those who give it. Frank is Louisa’s husband, he has every right to be recognized among these many blogs that are posted. If he says he loves her, one should believe that he loves her with every bit of his heart.

    If anything, Betty should be doing everything she possibly can to work with, not against, Frank in making this horrible situation a bit easier for everyone. Why saying that he feels he deserves a bit of recognition when he is the husband and that he is paying for her medical bills causes someone to rant and rave about a loving husband blows my mind. Betty should be thankful that her daughter has such a wonderful husband.

    I have not witnessed any information that should lead anyone here to the conclusion that Frank is a a bad husband, sounds to me like there should be no walls keeping Frank from Louisa who seem to love each other very much.

    I understand that this situation is horrible, and even that word doesn’t give it justice, but instead of just listening to one person say that someone is looking for glory or praise when he is the one standing by Louisa’s side, take a minute to consider what is going on between the blogs.

  13. Hey Kim-

    Paragraph 1 – I am not sure where you are getting your info- but no one here is saying Frank does not love his wife! I have no way of knowing that and neither do you- he probably does – why not she is wonderful everyone loves Louisa!

    Paragraph 2 – I also do not know where you got the idea that Bettyjean is working against him? Why would you say that? And by the way having medical insurance does not make or prevent you from being a wonderful husband – it makes for wonderful medical coverage!

    Paragraph 3- As for not witnessing any info to conclude Frank is a bad husband – you are correct- so why in the hell are you portraying this as an attack on Frank as a husband? I do not recall saying he was a lousy husband. And where in the hell did you get any idea that anyone has put any walls up between Louisa and her husband?

    Paragraph 4- Finally- You do not personally know any of the parties nor any of the circumstances so may I ask where you get off jumping in here and automatically taking Frank’s side and making allegations such as these?

    For the Record- this – all of it should be about Louisa- not her mother – not her husband and not her two beautiful children who are suffering deeply. I want to bring awareness to what needs to be done in DV laws so other women will not suffer as did Louisa- better laws. I am looking for Prayers – prayer to help get Louisa through this. I am looking for support to get the judges never to let this 56 year old thrice married is man out.

    Her mother does not need your pity, Frank should be ashamed to ask for appreciation for having insurance -instead he should just be grateful he does have it – I am not looking for money for Louisa’s children. And I don’t give a flying fig how cold Frank’s feet are in the night – married thrice and as many times nearly so — he seems to have a need to and never had a problem keeping his be full at all times.

    Do you read Frank on the blogs talking about her two minor children who are devastated? The answer is NO!
    What you might hear is him complaining that his wife of 4 years is missing out of his bed for 7 years.
    You got that Kim! Missing out of his fucking bed- that is how he explained his sorrow to the god damned police and to me when he asked why I did not mention that she has a husband in my blogs.

    His exact damned words Kim were – why aren’t you telling people that she has a husband and that my insurance is paying her medical bills and that I love her and I miss her in my bed!

    Well you know what Kim- she has been my daughter for 41 years – and I love her too- and I miss her in my life and you what? MY insurance is NOT paying her medical bills but I have been paying most of her rent and utility bills for the last 6 years that she has been with this no good drunken looser!

    The car she drives – well Kim – I bought and paid for it – it was brand new when I gave it to her and now the bastard wants to take it from Louisa’s own son who needs it and instead turn it over to his own son!

    I am not keeping this bastard away from her – he has banned me from my daughter’s bedside lady! So before you go off half cocked – you better damned well know the whole story about who the characters are and what exactly is going on and who is getting the real short end of the god damned stick girl!

    OK? I hope you never know the sorrow of this mother loosing one son and have two daughters suffering at the hands of domestic violence and as long as they are married – you have no legal leg to stand on and can do nothing to help either one as they lay dying right before your eyes and their husbands laugh in your face because the law says they owns your daughters as if they are a fucking piece of furniture and then you go read a piece of crap like your left me tonight!

    Damned you – you broke my heart!

  14. free me now: just remove Kim’s post if it upsets you. Turn your thoughts to positive action where it will make a difference.

    know it’s easier said than done but it can be done. Here’s your chance to practice.

    ((((hand squeeze)))

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