Another Rant by: BettyJean Kling
Have they so brainwashed us from birth that girls are inferior that even we believe that collectively we ARE less valuable and therefore disposable? Below I want to share what can happen to your daughters because we do not stand up for our daughters- because we do not have laws that demand respect for females from birth to death. Because we do not forbid degradation of females in every way shape and form. It should and must be illegal. First hear my rage – then see what you are allowing – then promise me you will immediately begin to boycott the products and help me pass laws to stop this- Will you join me or will you help them murder more women?
I am enraged! After the above video – I know you must be too- Let’s roll!
Today the doctors told me my baby will not make it – her brains have been blown out and what is left are closing down. The bastard who blew her brains out is strutting around the jailhouse watching TV and pumping iron and feeling like a macho man while I am crying my heart our watching my beautiful baby girl die slowly day by day! He did this out of rage – what do I do with my rage?
Do you want to see rage? Come see my daughter’s face now! I want to rip his eyes out of his ugly head but that won’t stop my rage! I want to stop my unbearable pain and agony but there is no stopping this pain- nothing will end this not now not ever. Nothing will keep the sight of my daughter’s once beautiful face now mangled with half of her head gone from my horror filled dreams. Nothing will remove from my nightmares the look of her one remaining eye that stares at me blankly when before they both danced like fireworks on the Fourth of July whether she was happy or angry – it did not matter Louisa had eyes that spoke loud and clear — now one was blow to kingdom come and the other will never see again.
I beg for hours every day -Louisa please see me – but she sees nothing. Louisa please hear mommy but she hears nothing. Louisa can you squeeze mommy’s hand and then she squeezes it and I jump for joy but she can’t do it again – it was just a reflex they say and my heart dies again and I wail and can not be consoled. And every day they tell me she is slipping farther and farther away and my heart is breaking farther and farther apart. Her sister Denise grows weaker and weaker. Between filing lawsuits against every woman in the family my son Tommy and son-in-law Frank grow meaner and meaner and the blame game gets greater and greater as they both try find a women to lay this all on- and use the unconscious woman in the bed as the all to convenient tool of choice since she can’t refuse to be used against the rest of us.
And the animal who is really to blame for all this violence and carnage thinks it sucks that he can’t call his wife from jail. He sent a letter wishing us a Merry Christmas and asked us to please inform him when his wife dies of cancer, He also let us know he is praying for Louisa and is so sorry he mistook her for me!I can now sleep much better knowing my daughter took the bullets meant for me and the two sons have yet more fodder for their hate arsenal- thanks George and thanks to the Bergen Co. NJ jail for allowing George to contact the family after the judge restricted him from doing so! Great damage control- George is still firing across the bow and allowed to inflict damage on this family.
Tell me – what do I do with this rage while I wait for these two beautiful girl to breath their last breath? In 2009 – I may be burying two daughters — both the victims of men’s disrespect for women. Both are victims of our failure to teach men that women are valuable human beings and both victims of a law that stopped short of keeping a repeat offended from killing my daughter. When will we learn that the problem really starts from the time a child is born females are belittled and males are elevated—females are taught to receed and self loath and males are taught to succeed and loath the weaker. Women are taught to be sexualized and men are taught to use them as sex objects then dispose of them like so much garbage. When will we as women learn not to buy it anymore? Look at the ads and explain to me why you would support a product that degrades you? Why are you supporting anything or anyone that degrades womankind? STOP – stop it NOW!
Thank you for listening and I hope you really heard me and yes there is much we can do – we can get moving- really really moving. The only thing we can change is the way we accept ourselves. We must change us. Free US Now means that we need to stop the way we treat females in this country NOW from the very minute we are born we are treated less than and even we believe that we are less than – so much so that we do not fight for ourselves as a whole – we may fight for ourselves as individuals and our friends and families but not for womankind- we have been brainwashed that we are not worth it.
Please join me in our effort to change this NOW. We need a campaign and I need all 52% of the women in this country and as many of the men – real men to stand with us – we need at least a full generation to make this change and must start now.
Pass this video around to everyone you know: Get others to look at this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMVi4xwCuUo and then meet me on Monday night on my radio show –
FreeUsNow For Women’s Right’s Radio Monday 8pm est
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/FreeMeNow
Call-in Number: (347) 838-8011
Let’s set up a meet-up in every state and get going. Birth to Death – we have a right to respect- and we damned well are going to demand it! Minorities get it – animals get it – but we – the silent majority – won’t even lift a finger and ask for it- we are like lambs brought to slaughter. No more – Let’s fight back Pass Louisa’s Law.
Filed under: ERA, Feminism, Media Bias, Misogyny/Sexism, Sexist Advertising | Tagged: Domestic Violence, Male domination, Sexist Advertising, Violence against women, violence in advertising |
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Free Us Now Weblog 
Betty Jean:
I am here and I am listening. I cannot imagine the pain you are going through, but know that your family is in my prayers.
I am resending an email I sent to you at the first of December. Please watch for it. I am reaching out to you, please tell me how I can help? How can I lift the burden from your shoulders, even a little bit?
I am a good writer, and a good organizer. I could write posts for you if you give me an outline. I can be a shoulder to lean on during the rough times.
Turn your rage into action, God does not put more on us than we can bear and what the enemy meant for your destruction can be used for God’s glory and to help the millions of other women who are waiting for a hero to help them.
Betty Jean: You can be that Hero! You have a strength that comes from a deep well within you and you have to draw that strength out of that well and fight.
Fight for your daughters who cannot fight for themselves. Fight for every woman, daughter, mother, adolescent and infant girl out there so that they may have a better life!
Fight for a life free from objectification, degradation and shame. You were chosen for this task Betty Jean; that does not mean you have to complete it alone.
I am standing up with you right now and saying as loud as I can…I am mad as hell and I am not going to take it anymore.
I am challenging every woman reading this blog and this post to ask yourselves, if you can stand up for your sisters, mothers, daughters, nieces and for all women. They need you now more than ever.
Can you look at their faces and tell them no? Can you say no to a better, fairer society for them? If you can’t look your daughter in the eye and tell your daughter that she can’t do or be anything she wants, you are the women that BJ needs now.
We need your commitment to make phone calls to congressional leaders and ask them to sponsor Louisa’s Law. We need you to write letters to the editors of your local papers, and to the editors of the magazines you read, and the CEOs of companies whose cosmetics/perfumes/clothing/shoes you buy; that if they do not change their ways, they will pay.
Tell them they will pay with their pocketbooks, if we do not see positive images of women in their advertising. Money talks, especially in this economy.
Dove is a great example of a woman-centric company with their “Campaign for Real Beauty.” If Dove can do it any company can!
They just have to know we mean business and that means their business!
So tell me, are you willing to join Betty Jean? I am!
Christopher
Oh, BJ, my heart is crying for you and your beautiful daughters. I will continue to pray. And I will continue to get angry. The e-mails I sent protesting the ads degrading women all got auto responses except the one from Chanel. They seemed to listed. We have to do this for every company every time they do this!!!! Let them know their products will be boycotted by us and everyone we know. I am so sorry the news you got was so bad. I don’t have the words BJ, but I
am so glad you do. You are making a difference and I will be listening on Monday.
Betty Jean, I can’t bear what you are going through. I am the mother of two daughters, the big sister to three little sisters and I have 2 little granddaughters. I hear what you are saying loud and clear. There is a billboard in our upstate NY area that says 1 in 4 females will be molested before her 14th birthday. We have to do something and we have to do it now.
I am not a conventional religious person, but I do pray and I am praying now that you will be given the strength and courage to carry this horrible burden. May the Goddess shine her love upon you. Blessed be.
Betty Jean, you’re story and Louisa’s story are becoming known. I shared it with my daughter along with the videos. She is furious and took down all the company names and is spreading it around her age group as I am around mine. It will become known. I am still contacting media in Canada, as I said, this has no borders and am telling Louisa’s story. My friend Gay, is a feminist author ( she loves the pigeon-holing) and has taken Louisa’s story to Toronto this weekend for a writers conference and workshop she is heading. The story will travel from there to many parts of the world. It is an international conference. There are many ways to get her story heard and I am using all the methods I can. I am backing my e-mails up with written letters stating why I am no longer interested in supporting their products and why. Sometimes it’s harder to ignore something in writing. Betty Jean, be there for your girls and we will spread the story and we will fight back.
I am horrified by what happened to your girls! I am in shock from reading your posts (that I have just discovered). I am an abuse survivor because I ran away–I got out!
I’ll be by your side through this, I feel your rage, your despair, your hatred for that vile man who did these things.
Barbara
BJ,
My heart goes out to you and your family. There are not words.
Topher in LA is right – you are being led by your higher power to lead this fight. I firmly believe the Almighty doesn’t hand us more than we can handle, and you have the inner strength, determination, and now rage to push this fight forward.
As I mentioned in my e-mail, I believe that as many PUMAs as possible must run for public office. Men are taught from birth that you need to be in power to get what you want. Women are taught to try to use silent influence to get others to give them what they want. We must fight that training that has been ingrained in our subconscious minds and grab for all the power we can get. To save our daughters, to save ourselves, and to save this country. Sorry to the men that read this, but I firmly believe that a male cannot extract this country from the morass it has fallen into. We hve been led here by ill-intentioned men that want nothing more than to control everything. The only way we can stop them is to take control back ourselves!
I encourage every PUMA that reads this (of both genders) to consider running for public office – whether it’s Congress or local mayor, we need more women in power. And stop with the political correctness! Let’s call it like it is – misogyny, plan and simple. We are fighting a relatively small but eminently powerful sector of our society that hates women and would have us be nothing more than breeding tanks and sex objects.
If you don’t want to run for office, start simply. Support another woman who is running. Stop your daughters from wearing lycra pants with degrading words printed on the backside, or low-cut blouses. (Before some of you say you can’t make them dress a certain way, stop and think about the dress code when you were a kid and what you were allowed to wear! Grow a spine and say No!) Make a point of calling degrading ads exactly that and make sure your daughters, friends, co-workers, and aquaintances all know what it is they’re looking at. And boycott these products. Circulate this video and ask others to do the same.
Each of us can do our part – some small and some great. BettyJean I am convinced your part is large. Know that you are not alone. Ever.
BJ, Topher & Grail Gardian are right.
I can only add to please take good care of yourself. Eat right, get enough rest, listen to classical music to help find some peace, go out for walks. Enough women have been hurt – don’t allow yourself to turn your grief and anger inward. We need you and we need you in good condition. Take vitamins. Eat fish. Drink the teas that will help you.
I can make videos and graphics and I will help in whatever way I can. One step at a time we will work together to move these causes forward. In the meantime, pace yourself and take good care of yourself. Just like the nightmare that resulted in the Amber Alert, rest assured that good will result from this enormous sadness.
BettyJean,
I hear you. I feel you.
George the Cretin is representative of all men who are responsible for the daily lynchings of women, including those men who have allowed our society to come this far.
BettyJean, I’m with you … whatever it takes.
Betty Jean,
I have no words… All of you are in my heart , thoughts and prayers…
I will do whatever I can… This has to stop…
Betty Jean
Pray to god and feel the words as often as possible each day. Beg god to see things differenty. It will happen in less than 40 days. The pain will end. Guaranteed.
Do not carry this pain for the rest of your life. You do not deserve to suffer.
[…] eyes. She is non-responsive. Betty Jean is heartbroken and angry. Her message is powerful in Women are Disposable Assets. Send some positive thoughts to Betty Jean and her family during this very trying time in their […]
From across the miles, we all wrap our arms around you, Denise, and Louisa in love and sisterly solidarity.
I will include the three of you in the Chaplet of Divine Mercy novena that I am starting today. Regardless of what the doctors say, no one but God knows what will happen, and I firmly believe that before we’re born we make our Divine contracts, to carry out a mission that will lead to the higher evolution of our souls.
Perhaps you three brave, beautiful beings of Light have volunteered for this most painful duty not only for your own evolution but that of all of us. Cold comfort to be sure, and I know you wish, and so do we, that all were otherwise. but the earthly trinity of BJ-Denise-Louisa will change our society for the better.
You are a leader and hero of epic proportions, Ms. Betty Jean Kling, and we stand with you now and always.
Women MUST STOP IT NOW. We must NOT allow one demeaning word, one slap, one pinch, one hit, one rape, one death to pass without RETRIBUTION. However, this means TAKING RESPONSIBILITY for our role in this fiasco–we must STOP PORNOGRAPHY (this means how we conduct ourselves sexually too), we must STOP BUYING INTO THE FASHION NAZIS (clothes, shoes, mags, underwear–the WHOLE MESS), we must EDUCATE ourselves and our daughters, we must GET POWER, we must CONDUCT THIS WAR on our culture if we are to survive. It must start NOW, it must start with YOU, and it must not STOP until we have won….
Betty Jean is ready and willing to fight……are you?
I am appalled that this past election season did not infuriate ever woman in this country. But I suppose it proves the theory that women from birth are pitted against each other. I say we need to make these women angry or mad; for this I believe will expose them to the realities, or at least make them pro active. I am tired of the size zero philosophy, not only in size but the importance of women in society as a whole. I am tired of the lady routine and princess treatment, it is just a way to shackle them to stereo typical norms. I have worked with several organizations in the past, we were called heretics, she devils, dried up c*nt’s, extremist, men haters, to name a few. I say don’t just get angry but get justice for all women. Just because you will be a warrior of a cause, you cannot be feminine,it means you now crossed the line to women hood. If we as “Women” cannot protect and defend each other, then we are a mockery of the essence of female, of “Women”…
“Let’s Start Here” “Let’s Start Now” “For Every Woman”
Sincerely Ms. Je’Amour P. Matthews ( Red Truck or Betty )
http://democracyinsuffrage.blogspot.com
“Betty Jean” if you need anything do not hesitate to call much love. I am sorry that a women as special as you, had to experience the worst life can offer…
Sincerely Je’Amour…
I can’t imagine what it is like to watch your gogeous daughters leaving this earth before you. It is the one thing I have always feared. The violence must stop.
I remember the days of being called a witch but change the first letter. I remember the men of color who were allowed to grab women’s body parts while I was in the Navy. And I remember almost being strangled to death in front of my children by their real father.
It is long past time for this to stop.
My prayers remain ever with you BJ. If you need to rant call me.
Thank You all- and yes I do need you – I need you all and we all need each other. I will turn away NO help whatsoever.
I am exhausted- – I am trying to keep this on the front burner- keep it front and center out of fear – my daughters eill be forgotten like so many before them and so many after them will also fall.
Pleases don’t let this happen- In case I stumble hold me up- In case I cry – shout with me- let us not let another mother walk alone- not another daughter die in vain- let’s unite and show the world that we are one force they will never forget . Thank you Topher for leading us off- I was weary and you picked up my pace when I saw your signature – I was happy to see a male on our side- I am surrounded right now will unfriendly males – Your note gave me hope that many of you will join us . This world will be a better place when real men join us to rid the world of the scum that has brought shame to mankind and harmed womankind.
And ladies- thanks you for your loving kindness- I am beginning to feel heard and While I am broken I feel help coming and for the first time- I believe we are ready to unite and take it to them like they will never forget.. Let’s roll.
Betty Jean,
May God’s love and that of your many friends sustain you through this most unimaginable pain.
May there be choirs of angels to sing your beautiful daughters to their rest.
Betty Jean,
You, your two daughters have been in my thoughts and prayers. I will try and see what I can do to help and e-mail you. You are very correct in your post today. WE MUST DIVEST FROM MISOGYNY…the lives of our children depend on it, future generations depend on it and we can’t trust to pass the torch because the flame has burnt out. We must light the way NOW!
Betty Jean, you have many people pulling for you around the country, stay strong and hug and love them while they are both still here. I can’t imagine what it is like for you, and will continue to pray for your family.
BettyJean,
My heart is breaking for you I and my mother have kept your daughters in our prayers…I am totally at a loss on what to say…
Know I am here for you and suipport you I think it would be a living tribute to your daughters if the ERA was passed.
I do not live in your state what can we do to get a “Louisa’s Law” introduced in the state legislature or at the federal level?
If you can get your US Congressperson to introduce it I will contact Corine Brown My congresswoman to support it.
I have 8 nieces and three nephews and I hold each one precious to me….they are the closest to children I will ever have I cannot immagine a parent or society that would value women and their daughters less, even though I know they exsist.
Betty Jean Know that you are in my prayers…
Love and Energy focused on your family-
Fuzzybeargville
BillieJean
My prayers are with you and your family. Every difficult situation that I have ever had to face, I always pray to St. Jude. He is known as the saint of the impossible. FYI, I’ve also prayed to him for people that I hear about in the news and my prayers were answered.
Many good people and wishes are going your way.
God Bless You!
Betty Jean:
I am glad that I lifted your spirits even for a little while.
My first relationship ended because of mental, emotional abuse and physical violence, so it is not just a phenomenon that occurs within heterosexual relationships, same sex relationships can be violent as well.
Once, while in Wal-Mart my partner struck me, and an off duty Sherriff’s Deputy who was working security saw the incident and waited for my partner to walk away and approached me and with genuine concern asked me if I was okay and if there was anything he could do for me; either water or ice for my whelp.
He explained to me that regardless of sexual orientation what was happening to me was Domestic Abuse and he offered to take me somewhere I would be safe. I refused, and defended my partner; the Deputy said he was going to have a little talk with my partner, despite my pleas and protests that he not do so.
Whatever he said to him scared the crap out of him, for a while. It finally ended one night, after I had gone back to college at 26 and his control over me was ever dwindling. We ended up fighting, and somehow my foot was on his throat and I was swearing I would kill him. I had had enough; I didn’t know I had that level of rage within me. A friend talked me out of it and took me to a hotel for the night.
Soon after I left and got my own place and although it was a dump and far from the beauty of the apartment I had with my partner, I loved it nonetheless. I finally felt safe. After scrubbing the entire apartment and cleaning the entire bathroom tile with a toothbrush, it felt like home. And I was no longer angry about leaving with nothing but my clothes; I was free, and that was the best feeling I ever felt.
I was sexually abused as a child for 12 years, and that was why I allowed myself to be in that and another verbally and mentally abusive relationship, it was also the reason I became sexually indiscriminate as a young adult, attempt suicide three times, and got raped while passed out drunk.
With a lot of therapy, and a great big helping of God’s Grace, I finished college and I have learned a great deal about myself. It has been a hard fought battle for me to not lose my soul to despair. I am 40 now and I have released the anger to God as well as the pain and in return He has given me the acceptance that the anger and pain of the abuse has become part of me. It has made me who I am, it helps me to recognize and empathize with the pain in others. I use it to keep myself going and it strengthens me to speak out when I see injustice in the world.
I can’t tell you why God has seen me through so much in my life, but I know that without his grace and my faith in his will for my life. I wouldn’t be here today! And, BJ God will do the same for you. He will give you peace that passes all comprehension and strength to carry on when it seems as though you can’t.
I am spreading your message as I write this; I am in the process of contacting as many blogger friends as possible, females as well as other males. There are others, who will join with you in your fight. With God’s help, I won’t let you down and neither will all the loving women who left wonderful messages of encouragement and support on this thread.
God bless and keep each and everyone of you, and pray for BJ and each other,
Christopher
What to do – two things for you:
1. A lawsuit naming all the actors, including the county and state, preferably with the national women’s law center or NOW paid lawyers. Other women can do some research to organize a legal defense team and fund its depositions and such. They can be paid civil rights fees when they win. Contact the FBI about civil rights violations.
2. Buy and read this book because cognitive changes are going on with your ability to speak and perceive — it is physical, not emotional. They have learned a lot about shock in the past 10 years and it will help you to know what your brain is suffering physically.
“Invisible Heroes:Survivors of Trauma and how they Heal” by Belleruth Naparstek
To the people who write and comment here.
Call and write Nancy Grace — tell her about this website and wherever this story has been written about. There should be a list of links somewhere. Because if you REALLY want to help, get the national media involved so a legal team will want to take the case. Nancy Grace and women like that on the news shows need to hear from a LOT of you. Tell other bloggers.
Betty Jean: I join everyone else in sending my deepest sympathies and sadness for the unimaginable pain you are enduring. To even be clear enough to blog is a sign of your profound strength, and I do believe your power and ferocity will be used to advance women’s rights–it already is. I am still furious about what we witnessed this year–it has changed me in ways I am not even aware of yet. It was all confirmation of the violence and disrespect for women that is rampant in the world. We must fight it, and I will join you in your efforts. I pray that you have close friends that are helping you through this acutely difficult time. Bless you.
Has anyone contacted Greta Van Sustern about this story?
We women must step up and announce “Enough is Enough”.
Our thoughts are with you Betty and your beautiful daughters.
There are many of us women who know the dangers of being a victim, together we can make a difference. We must speak out – loudly.
I fought for Prop. 4 not to pass in Los Angeles (3rd time on a ballot). It stated that a girl under 18 had to get written permission from her parent to have an abortion. Luckily, again, it did not pass, but it will continue to be on our ballot every two years. We must protect women to have a right to their own bodies. If they want to tell their parent about it then the government is not needed. This law is only for the girls who CAN’T tell their parent about being pregnant.
The government has no right to force a girl to tell her parent and then possibly be beaten, killed or made to have the baby. Daughter says to mom, “hey mom, I need an abortion, can you sign this?” . Mom questions the daughter “who’s the father?”. Daughter answers “your husband”.
Many women get raped and pregnant by their Step-Dad.
We must unite as women to protect women.
We have an 8 year old daughter and a 10 year old son. This subject is number one conversation with our children. IT STARTS AT HOME.
I read these comments and I am overwhelmed by the injustice to womankind and I am in awe of the power i see blooming! We have been wounded deeply but we are not so wounded that we can not fight back- this year has been such an eye opener for us – asll that has happened was so blatant so horrorfying so devasting that we can not must will not turn the other cheek this time- no- not this time. this time they will see and hear us coming – and they will not believe it – but we will not turn back – not this time!
I hear you. I hold you, Louisa and Denise in the heart of prayer for which no words speak. We will not forget.
We will not stop. We will have Louisa’s Law. PumaPac will join with you and others. We will have this law, Betty Jean. We will have this law!
BJ: we started another new blog for you on http://www.fabulously40.com.
under the Group of Fab40 Against Domestic Violence
http://fabulously40.com/group/fab40-against-domestic-violence/
The Topic for you is under 2009-01-05 BJ’s blog
Many have send you pictures and prayers. Many were hurting with you and could not comment due to the shock and great emotion.
Just to let you know. You are not alone.
I can’t feel your pain, no one but you can feel that. I do know that it has to be inestimable. But, I can feel your anger, and your rage. I have seen so many others, the wife stabbed twenty-two times with a phillips screw-driver by her assistant district attorney husband.
My sister and her sister-in-law were both mentally and physically abused in their first marriages. I used to regularly warn my brother-in-law to stay out of alleys or I would see him breathe his last.
When they finally got out of the relationships, they decided to help the local battered women’s center {Ithaca, N.Y.), by taking the overflow when the center was full. That meant working out all the security problems, so that no one realized where these women were being kept, and many nights my SO and I sat watch in a car on a dark street to make sure no one showed up.
Before I volunteered to do that, I had to have a conversation with myself about whether I was really willing to do something physical if the need arose. I found that deep inside I was more than willing. Your daughter had that courage in her, and she has paid with her life, and like any other warrior, I honor her, and wish that I could have stood with her. I am already trying to get mothers to see that how they raise their sons affects how their daughters will live. I am already trying to get young women to see that they have to respect themselves from this day forward and never let that go, or they will have nothing left to hold onto.
I am filled with anger and sorrow for your entire family, and promise I will do whatever I can to honor the lives of your two daughters and their courageous mother.
I am sorry about the unimaginable grief you must have.
No parent should have to endure this. Nor should your daughters.
When I lived in Boise, Idaho, aa abused woman (in Nampa) who begged the police for help from her ex-husband ended up shot and killed.
The cops wouldn’t protect her even though she told them he’d kill her.
She was right.
Her mother is crusading to make sure authorities are aggressive in enforcing protection orders and take them more seriously.
I am so sorry for your sorrows. I support free speech, I also support my right to not purchase these products based on these horrible advertisements that are based on free speech.
I was raped when I was 9 years old, and rather than prosecuting the individual, my grandmother gave the teenager (who was stoned on acid at the time), money to leave town and never come back. The family name could not be tarnished, nor could I be tarnished by this fact. I hated men for a very long time.
I’m happy to say that I found a wonderful man, who is my 3rd husband, that I’ve been married to for more than 10 years, and I’ve been with him for almost 15 years.
I will admit that I’m at a loss when my own 17 y/o daughter says some of these ads aren’t a big deal, but I’m overjoyed when she says she will not purchase some of these products because some are absolutely repulsive (i.e. Jimmy Choo). I wonder if I’ve sheltered her too much when she says some of these women “deserve” it, but then I’m glad I’ve sheltered her enough that she hasn’t been raped, or even been in a situation where she may have been raped, or abused, or sexually harassed.
I’m so deeply sorry that you are losing not only one daughter, but two, under such horrible circumstances. I agree with you that these ads do nothing other than promote violence against women.
There are far too many domestic violence situations that are handled very poorly in our country.
Because I’ve been through this, Betty, I admire the fact that you have not murdered this man personally. I don’t know that I would have the emotional stamina to endure what you are going through. I honestly believe that I would ask the judge to release him so that I could personally, at some point, torture this man until he died. My daughter means more to me than anything and I would gladly go to prison for torturing (Al Queda doesn’t hold a candle to me) any man who hurt my dear little girl.
You are a far better human being than I am.
If Betty Jean in any way attempts revenge, the legal system will suddenly spring into action and put her in prison. Then no one will be there for her daughters and the abusers will have completely destroyed her.
No, she wins when she learns to work with her trauma and shock and attract other women to aid her make it harder for men to do this to women.
That is how she has justice which is more satisfying than retaliatory violence.
Please contact organizations to write to newscasters, Grace or Greta on her behalf. She and we need media attention. Ask bloggers to post this request. Organizations blogs doing an action alert to contact the media will really help. Tell people through radio shows. Call your local radio shows and ask them to do a phone interview with Betty Jean. Every single one of the people reading this could get one radio interview. Radio producers are always looking for stories. When Betty goes on one radio show she can ask the listeners to contact the national media to do a story on how this happened.
I have been thinking about this all night and it came to me that the best news anchor to try to reach is Jane Velez Mitchell who has had many shows on domestic violence and who is actually is trying to organize women against domestic violence.
She is just establishing herself and will be more interested than the Graces and Gretas who already have their main focus.
“Issues with Jane Velez-Mitchell is a current affairs TV show on Headline News hosted by Jane Velez-Mitchell. It airs weekdays in the 7-8 PM EST time slot. It replaced the Glenn Beck program.
Jane currently resides in Los Angeles. You can contact her at:
jane AT secretscanbemurder DOT com
The show is known for its strong opinions on what it reports. One of them being “War on Women”, in which an all-women feminist panel discuss various cases, and opinions on missing women, and violence against women”
She has some links to organizations that might help.
Betty should contact the local shelters to write or email her and all of us should point her to this and other blogs where the story is posted. Betty has to compile a list of links to blog stories about her case.
Here are links to Velez Mitchell :
http://www.janevelezmitchell.com/
http://www.cnn.com/CNN/anchors_reporters/velez-mitchell.jane.html
http://www.mediabistro.com/tvnewser/cnn/jane_velez_mitchell_to_anchor_hlns_7pmet_hour_97835.asp
http://www.janevelezmitchell.com/
A slew of crime laws will also take effect on New Year’s Day. In Illinois, judges will be able to order those who violate a restraining order to wear tracking devices. The Cindy Bischof law is named for a woman who was gunned down by her ex-boyfriend; before her murder, she had asked about using global positioning system technology to keep track of him.
I am appalled that I never looked at ads before, always ignored them. How can these women allow themselves to be photographed like this? I am on the hunt now and will not breeze past pages of ads in magazines anymore. Any company showing ads debasing women will hear from me and i will call for a boycott. You have opened my eyes on this. My family has always supported our shelter, we quilt and crochet blankets year round for the women and children when they come in. I make bears by the hundreds, often 3 a week, for the kids. During holiday season we bake and make chocolates and buy toys and mom items, then deliver everything. It doesn’t seem enough anymore. I am now hunting companies and I will find them.
Bettyjean, feel our anger and rage. It is there. Our sorrow is there as well. Bless you and your daughters, you are never far from my thoughts and I send prayers to you hourly. A lot of us do, We will carry this and the fight for Louisa’s Law for you, each to our own abilities, and let you be there for your girls. One person can make a difference, and we are many,
Betty Jean,
My heart is breaking for your and your beautiful daughters. Please know that many many of us across the blogosphere are thinking of you and praying for your family every day.
Men like that monster should be locked up for life and forced to review the horrible things they have done again and again. Together we will fight back against the sexism and misogyny that are so prevalent in our culture. I wish, I wish there was something I could do to ease your pain.
bostonboomer,
There is; to quote BJ, don’t get sad, get pissed! And stay that way until women are treated as equals!
Betty Jean:
How do we get through this pain? It seems too unbearable to even watch let alone experience for oneself.
We have to express, we have to! Our silence is killing our mothers, ourselves and our children. We must rise up in rage to stop those who feel they have a right to hurt us.
My heart goes out to you. I, too, have suffered from abusive men. This is an epidemic and we can not rely on men to take care of this for us. Try as they might to protect us, men have hurt us in the past with their laws. We women must change our laws, our society, our culture. We must ROAR!!!
Indeed- it is up to us – we must Roar and we must roar now and not stop until the violence stops. We must rise up in numbers that will shock the world in a wave that will shock the world and in such a way and with with such courage and in such unison movement so that nothing they do or say can sway us.
There is no issue that stands between us as women – this is the issue that unites us ! We are human beings in crisis – there is an epidemic slautering us- and only we can stop it by standing together!
Thank you for standing with us! Soon – any day now – our numbers will swell to an army large enough for our roar to be heard round the world!
As for getting through the pain- there is no getting through the pain! I have not gotten over the pain of loosing my son to cancer 8 years ago, nor the pain of watching Denise as her body has been succumbing to cancer these last 25 months. But this – this sensless shooting- and now to have to bear the shock of having my baby girl violently and viciously shot in the head for no damned reason at all!
There are no words to describe my pain – my agony and there will be no getting over the loss of three children out of 4. Not now – no – not ever in this lifetime!
The only thing in this world that can possibly bring me any peace is that we use Louisa’s tragedy to pass a law that will prevent other women from this unbearable pain. If my daughter’s horror comes to good – only then will I be quieted in some small way. She can not – I repeat she can not die in vain!
Louisa is slipping away- and I promised her – she will not go without leaving her mark on this world! I promised her that her sacrifice would not be in vain- I told her that the puma in her would not be forgotten and her light would not be dimmed! I promised!
It’s terrible what happened to your daughter. My anger says “Kill Him!” – he deserves to die for what he did to your daughter, but I realize this will not resolve anything.
I am so sorry and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
I’m so very sorry Betty Jean. You, your daughters, your family are in such pain, as are women everywhere. Take care of yourself. You are strong and will need every bit of your strength and then some. This is not something that will change overnight. We all must stand together. We all must be strong. Objectification is unacceptable. Violence must stop.
I am listening to you now and am heartbroken for you and your family. I am one of the lucky ones. I escaped relatively damage free. I say relatively because I do have some lasting long term damage done. I also must send my flesh and blood to this man who terrorized me and still terrorizes me and the child to this day. All with the court’s permission. I have now made a vow – I will do what I can to help others in my position and I will – I WILL tell my story when I am safe to do so.
We will have to help each other – This past year has given us the opportunity to see that we are not alone – we are one of millions who have been victimized and kept it to ourselves and suffered and felt it was our shame. It’s not our shame or fault – more than half of the population is under siege and it is an epidemic.
I am so sorry for your and your family’s suffering. If you don’t mind, I will repost your article and video links around, with credit to your site. The injustices detailed in your article just infuriate me. I feel certain that any woman reading them will recognize aspects of her. May we all take positive action against this war on women.
A new post for you today, titled “Let’s get stared – Louisa’s law – the first step”
http://fabulously40.com/post/id/let-s-get-started–louisa-s-law-the-first-step./
I hope you don’t mind I cut and paste some comments here to over there. If you have an issue, please notify me. Thank you. My prayers and thoughts are with you all.
Greenconscioness, I know Betty would be prosecuted. That is the sad part of our society. He needs to die a slow horrible death. What I admire is the fact that she is dealing with this through awareness advocacy, rather than violence.
I’m so horrified by the way our society deals with domestic violence.
I’ve got a lot to say on my blog this week…thank you so much for inviting me to be part of the discussion last night. The treatment of women in family courts now is horrific and we all must act to change the bias that exists there. Millions of children are separated from their mothers, and the children suffer for the court’s decisions.
I know this from both ends, not only am I a noncustodial mother, but so was my mother, a stay-at-home mom. My dad and her divorced when I was 11 (about 40 years ago), he got custody of us kids..we stayed in the nice house with him, and she got kicked out to live at the YWCA in a room…and he would abuse her even in front of the neighbors! Once she was gone, my dad quickly got tired of “taking care of us” and left us alone while he went on business trips. We were all split up in group homes and foster homes for years before she managed to get us back, when I was almost 17. Our childhoods ruined by the family courts. Now my children suffer the same fate, life with my abuser, told they can’t call me, can only see me when allowed…even though they cry about missing me. Enough is enough!
I can be back on with you next Monday, I am tied up tonight, but I would love to join discussion again and give updates on where the blog is going this week. Thanks again Bettyjean, and please take care!
Nancy
http://www.rightsformothers.com
Betty
I have your dads letter on my blog -it is a good summary of events to date — I am asking that you do two posts — On your side column can you post a link to YOUR radio show and times? Like— FREE US NOW RADIO-Every Monday – click here to adjust for your time zone….
And can you also post a link to the entire story? Your dads article is a ggod basis but with more about why the legal system let him go?
Also where are you? What state? In that Sequence of Events Post What Is Louisa’s Law ?
Is it like:
In Illinois, judges will be able to order those who violate a restraining order to wear tracking devices. The Cindy Bischof law is named for a woman who was gunned down by her ex-boyfriend; before her murder, she had asked about using global positioning system technology to keep track of him.
Nancy at www. rightsformothers.com is leading the fight on this issue when it involved children under 18 – good background papers on her website. Those who want info on placement and custody in abuse situations should go there.–
Nancy, I was the director of the Wisconsin WAR group that was in the Phyllis Chesler’s book “Mother’s On Trial” See in the hardcover, the notes on pages pp 248-254. 0n page 416 there is a footnote to page 600 which contains our whole list of recommendations. That was 1985 — you will see nothing has changed.
Also everyone should leave thier blog links. Here is mine.
http://www.greenconsciousness.org/weblog/
Leave yours so we can be a community.
On my blog this month I will try to set up a special section as part of my blogroll that has the title”Gender Violence”.
“Free US now” (although I already have it in the general blog roll) will be the first link. I will gather all your links from this comment thread and put them there also. Nancy – I already have your link up in the general blogroll.
Betty Jean,
Lorraine from Wisconsin
It was so great talking with you last night, much love and hugs to you.
I hope to again call in tonight. I myself a survivor of abuse also and have a
website: http;//www.rights4mothers.org
blog: mamaliberty.wordpress.com/
rights4mothers.blogspot.com/
and I also have a yahoo group for “protective mothers” we are aware of your nightmare and hopefully we can all join as sisters to show them that “Yes WE can!”
We are the legacy of the ERA “feminists” as they were to the suffragettes. NOW is the time for us to band together as we once did and send a message that we are NOT going to take it anymore!
I am here for the fight…..”I will not give up…..I will not shut up…..and I will NOT go away”
Lorraine Tipton
Hello Betty-Jean, my names Dana, I’m Sue Davidson’s daughter. My Mother just told me your story, needless to say I swore, almost got sick, and I am extremely….to the fullest of extremes….utterly fucking pissed off at that shit kickin, ugly-ass, gun shootin, drug stealin, wanna be biker peice of trash! My mother was going to show me a pic of said “piece of shit” but I thought it may make me even more pissed off to put a face to the “piece of shit”. I want to shove that shotgun up his ass, and keep it there, for a while, no lube, and not only make him sincerely apologize to your strong, beautiful family, but make him feel truly sorry. Sorry that he was ever born. I could not believe my ears, not 15 minutes ago, my heart broke. Then I got angry, more angry than I’ve been in a while. I am already upset that your government does not provide health insurance, but to let that “piece of shit” get 3 months for what he did to your daughter, and now this? What ever we can do to help, even if its finding info on hate crimes, so that this law can be enacted. This issue does not know any borders, this involves everyone who has a bleeding heart. We’re here for ya, even if its miles(or kilometers) away. Your family is in my thoughts, prayers (of some sort) and stay strong,. luv Dana xo
Oh Yeah I want his picture. Picture, name, address , everything!
Lorraine I took all the extra info and will post it.
WI is such a radical feminist place — it must be the Lake air.
Please watch this video and pass it around. Slightly over 1/2 hour and time very well spent as it is fabulously informative:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1993368502337678412
Yes..fellow sisters…the media is to blame…all of the sensationalism, the rating etc…is so important to them…they, our lawmakers..control our country..and of course…most are men…yes…sisters…we must unite and fight them every inch of the way…lest they distroy us all! It is they that should enact laws to protect us…yet they take more and more away…even when it comes to controlling elections so that we can not serve..mainly because it would then give us the power to change…and it is change that they fear…that is why they keep us down to the very bottom pits of hell…through their actions!
Stay strong Betty Jean…we are behind you all the way…our prayers are with you in your dire time of need…
I invite all of you here to check out http://www.fabulously40.com. It is a free online community. The members have a strong friendships. I am a member and so is BJ and Louisa. Your opinion and expertise is much needed over there.
Betty,
I just want you to know I thought of you and your daughter’s today. I am saddened beyond words.
Peace be with you.
BettyJean, I don’t know if this guy can help in anyway but I think if you (or anyone who knows how, lives in Washington State maybe) can get your story to him it may help. I spend the better part of each morning researching a lot of newspapers for domestic cases and we are recording them in a separate forum at Pumapac. I came across this today, he at least recognizes that penalties must be increased and that is a start.
As always, my thoughts and prayers ore for you, Louisa and Denise.
Attorney General Rob McKenna is targeting repeat domestic violence offenders by asking legislators to enact sentencing reforms that would put chronic abusers behind bars for at least as long as prolific car thieves.
“It just doesn’t make sense that these serial abusers aren’t subject to longer sentences, too,” McKenna said Tuesday in a phone interview.
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/395000_dvreform08.html
There is an in paper link from this one to a report on chronic abusers
This is the web site for the attorney general.
http://www.atg.wa.gov/
BJ, thank you for the note to my very angry daughter, she is rallying her troops and is sending the story and video to all she knows.
[…] When the Guns Go Off… Jump to Comments I’m not a PUMA sympathizer, but I think this woman’s rage needs to be heard. Her daughter, Louisa, was shot by her other daughter’s ex. She is in a […]
As a male, maybe I have no place posting a message here, but I am so horrified by your story that I have to say something. I am ashamed of my own sex frequently these days. All the horror, suffering, death and war that they are responsible for is too long to catalogue. I myself was violently attacked and robbed by two men just before Christmas. I am now afraid to be out late at night and am constantly looking over my shoulder when I am. I am so sorry for your suffering and I hope that the monster who committed this atrocious act never gets out of jail. I hope you can believe that there are still men who respect women. I hate it when a man perpetrates yet another horrific, violent act and dimishes the perceived humanity of us all. I am sorry you have been handed this awful lot in life.
Martin,
You will always be welcome to post at my site- we welcome males.
I have 3 wonderful grandsons that I adore and hope all males are not labeled horrible just because some males have done horendous acts on women.
I have a miserable son and two miserable sons-in-law but the three gransons even it out and I would venture to say that I am unfortunate to have a 50/50 lot like that – many have wonderful men in their lives – and it sounds like you are one such wonderful male thanks you for visting us and please come comment often.
Thank you for being so gracious during what must be a time of unimaginable sadness for you. If anyone ever deserved a miracle, it is you and your daughter. I have no children of my own, but my two sisters have had children and hence I have three nieces and one nephew that I love dearly. My nephew has always been the sullen, miserable one and seemingly without direction in life. I’m ashamed to say it, but I find it difficult not to have favourites. One of my nieces (Sarah) is very bright, artistic and full of the joy of life. I’m hoping she will decide to go to university next year. At the moment she’s studying textiles and design. I wish you all the best and will keep hoping that something miraculous will happen for you.
Thank you – bless your heart- Let’s hope and pray for all our children – this world could be a better place if we all hold out hopes for them all. I hope your niece gets to university- my very best wishes.
I received you good news via email. It’s amazing how life can transform itself through the simple movement of a hand! I read your brief polemic on the rights of women and found myself agreeing with every word. A Hillary Clinton presidency would have been the greatest milestone since Mary Wollestonecroft wrote ‘A Vindication of the Rights of Women’, but it was not to be. I Believe that women are a civilising influence on men. A woman, I believe, would be far less likely to take a country to war (our own Margaret Thatcher excluded!!). Don’t give up, your cause is just!
….oops! Her name was Mary Wollstonecraft and her book was ‘A Vindication of the Rights of Woman’ (It’s been a long time since I studied her at uni!).
A New Pledge Of Allegiance For Our Children?
I Pledge Allegiance to the World Bank
And The I.M.F. and U.N.
And To George Soros
For Whom They Stand
No Nations
And No God
No Liberty
Just Bondage
For All.
It’s happening!